


A (W)Holesome Love

by MyJediLife



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Armitage Hux Loves Millicent, Death by blaster, Droid death, F/M, Hux loves his blaster, Inappropriate use of a Lightsaber, Inappropriate use of a blaster, Kylo Ren Loves Rey, Lightsabers are not made for fucking, Neither are blasters, Pure Crack, That's Not How The Force Works, The First Order done lost their minds, The Supreme Leader loves Rey, This is crack, what have I done?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:40:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22112740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/pseuds/MyJediLife
Summary: Kylo Ren and Rey were in a serious, monogamous relationship. They worked together - slicing through enemies with ease. They spent every moment of time together, and at night - they slept together.Rey is his lightsaber.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 9
Kudos: 41





	A (W)Holesome Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thoseindarkness](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thoseindarkness/gifts).



> My Secret Santa gift to a really awesome person in our fandom - Fari!
> 
> Sorry this is late, and I hope you had a wonderful Holiday season!
> 
> This is complete crack. I am (not) sorry for any of it.
> 
> Thanks to [Azuwrite](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azuwrite) for the beta and moodboard!

[ ](https://imgur.com/y9Lip5p)

Kylo Ren and Rey were in a serious, monogamous relationship. They worked together - slicing through enemies with ease. They spent every moment of time together, and at night - they slept together. Kylo would kiss her goodnight tenderly before closing his eyes, murmuring a soft, “I love you,” as he drifted off.

The moments he liked best, though, were when they were alone, and he made sweet, soft love to her. He always made sure her needs were met before he took his own pleasure, grunting softly as he came deep within her - and he always held her tenderly afterwards, caressing her lines and softness, revelling at the feel of her - strong and steady - beneath his fingertips.

Even now, in yet another boring meeting, all he can think of is Rey. He can feel her under his fingertips, even sitting with his generals and trying to ignore Hux sneering at him. Rey keeps him grounded, keeps him focused. She is his greatest treasure and his greatest asset. Kylo never thought he could ever love anything or anyone as much as he loves her.

She fascinates him. She enthralls him.

He can’t live without her.

She is the love of his life.

As his cock tightened in his pants, Kylo shifted in his chair, trying to ease some of the ache. He needed to be with his love, to slide inside her slowly as he whispered how much he loved her. He sighed, looking up as he adjusted himself once more, only to find every set of eyes in the room on him.

“Will you give your orders, Supreme Leader?” Hux spat out, his nose wrinkling in disgust.

Kylo wished he could bring Rey to Hux, and that he could watch her slice through him gloriously. His cock twitched, and he finally was able to speak once more. “Order the attacks. I’ll be in my quarters, comm me if I am needed.”

“Yes, Supreme Leader,” he heard the generals murmur as he rose.

….

“Rey, oh Rey… you feel so good…” Kylo pumped his hips, buried balls deep inside his Rey, the only thing in the Galaxy he knew he could count on. She had never let him down, never failed him when everyone else had.

He reached down, stroking her softly as he moved within her, cherishing every one of her curves. His girl was pure perfection, every curve and angle of her made specifically for his pleasure.

His commlink beeped, and he groaned, pulling himself out of Rey with a wet noise as he hit the button to answer the call. At times like these, he wished he was still an apprentice, with minimal duties. Now, he was in charge of a whole military junta, with every day giving him a new set of problems to handle. It left little time for him to train with Rey, or to spend the time with her that she deserved.

By the time he had dealt with yet another problem, he was still hard, and so he went back to work on his lady, caressing her softly and lovingly, letting the feel of her around his length pull yet another orgasm from him.

He loved Rey. She was the only perfect thing in the Galaxy.

….

When he had ordered the technicians to place bugs in the Supreme Leader’s quarters, Armitage Hux had never fathomed that he would witness the true depravity that rested within Ren’s brain. How he could claim to be in love with that…  _ thing _ … disgusted him. If he were the Supreme Leader, he would have the most beautiful concubines in his quarters every night. Ren was truly insane for not partaking of his position.

But, maybe Ren’s power came from his solitary lifestyle. Maybe what he did, in the privacy of his own quarters, was part of the reason he held the title of Supreme Leader instead of him. Pacing across his own quarters, his hands clasped behind his back, Hux made a decision. He would try to do what Ren did - and maybe he would finally be able to become what he was truly meant to be - the Supreme Leader of the First Order.

He held the blaster in his hands, examining it carefully to best determine how to proceed. Certainly he would need to ready himself before he attempted this - he certainly didn’t want to cause pain to himself. With a sigh and a shake of his head, Hux spit on his hand, rubbing it along his length to make sure he had enough lubrication to proceed. If getting off with his weapon made Ren more powerful, then surely it would work for him too.

He hoped he was doing it right as he slid his thickness into the chamber, being careful to keep his finger away from the trigger. The last thing he wanted was to blow his manhood to smithereens. After a few moments of frustration, in which he derived no pleasure from what he was doing, he pulled himself out of his weapon, eyeing it for a moment.

Maybe… maybe he needed to use the area between the trigger and the guard. Yes. That was a bit… tighter. Perhaps that would give him the right amount of pressure needed. Of course, the way Ren went about things would be different - he had a lightsaber. Hux was glad he didn’t have such a rudimentary weapon like that - he preferred the distance and finesse afforded to him with his blaster when killing his enemies.

Except for when he had his father killed. That had been  _ personal. _

With a slight shake of his head, his fisted his quickly softening cock, thinking about the last concubine he had fucked, and as he grew hard, he slid his length between the trigger and the guard. “Oh…. Millicent,” he uttered, using the name of the concubine to center himself in his pleasure. Thrusting several times, Hux closed his eyes, imagining it was the softness of the woman’s slick walls he was feeling, and as he came with a grunt, he reached down to pull the weapon away. His finger slid over the trigger, causing the weapon to discharge, his service droid letting out a series of beeps as the laser penetrated its control panel, a plume of smoke leaving the machine as it powered down.

“Fuck,” Hux muttered. “Now I have some explaining to do.”

….

“You… shot your service droid.” Ren’s voice reached his ears as eyes came up to survey Hux through his mask.

“Yes, Supreme Leader. I was… cleaning my weapon.”

“You were cleaning your weapon - which doesn’t require it - and you shot your service droid?” Ren asked, his eyes blazing.

“Yes, Supreme Leader.”

“I will approve the requisition of another service droid for you, General. Report to Captain Phasma for weapons safety training. Don’t let this happen again.” Ren turned away, and Hux breathed a sigh of relief.

“Yes, Supreme Leader.”

….

On Ajan Kloss, Rey powered down her datapad, her eyes wide as she half turned to look at Ben, whose ears were a bright red as he looked at her. She was cradled in his arms, his chin resting on her shoulder as they read the holonews together.

“I am glad you defected when you did, Ben. Clearly the First Order is starting to drive its own leadership insane.” Rey’s voice was a whisper into the darkness of their quarters, both of them reflecting on the  _ Insider Exclusive _ they had both just read.

“Clearly. I’d prefer burying myself in you than my lightsaber. Force, how do you even do that? Clearly they must be suffering from space madness or something,” Ben replied, his low dulcet voice causing her to shiver.

“Speaking of burying yourself in me, Solo… how about we do that?” Rey purred, turning in his arms to kiss him.

And so he did.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave comments and kudos, and mash that subscribe button if you like what you see! <3
> 
> Come visit me on tumblr: [my-jedi-life](https://my-jedi-life.tumblr.com/)
> 
> And on the twitter: [MyJediLife](https://twitter.com/MyJediLife) (All the twitters - I know them!)


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